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The next few weeks went
back to a normal routine for me and the rest of the town. I went back
to work at the coffee shop though I had less shifts as Anna was now
back to work. Little Claudia was always in the shop in her little
carrier in the back by the corner. It was nice seeing her, her big
brown eyes just like her momma's. She was also the most stylish baby
I had ever seen. Anna told me that Jon had gotten her a ton of
clothes along with a new car seat for Jake's truck. She seemed a tad
frustrated but pleased that he was taking his god papa as he called
himself job quite seriously. I had to laugh when she told me he had
thought about getting them another car so that Anna had an easier way
around. She had quickly talked him out of it stating in our small
town the most she would need is a stroller which arrived three days
later. It was quite funny though Anna didn't think so at the time.
I spent time with my mom,
my niece even my brother and his stuck up wife. Not that I ever said
that to her face. In between that time I worked on my school work and
talked on the phone. I would go to sleep talking to him on the phone.
At first I wasn't sure about the phone add in I was a bit nervous to
talk to him after what he said on it the last time we talked. I know
I said it back to him but I didn't know if I actually felt like that
about him. I barely knew him, okay I knew more about him then I did
over two months ago but did I love him I didn't know. So when he
called back two days later I didn't even answer the phone. It took
three phone calls from him before I answered back. When he asked why
I hadn't called or answered the phone. I had to come clean to him. He
felt slightly hurt but when I explained my reasoning he was quick to
apologize that he did care for me but he kind of got caught up in the
moment and said it. It did make me feel slightly better though a bit
sad. After that no more mention of I love yous were passed between
us. We decided once again that we were going to take it slow I
wasn't sure what that meant but it was just what I needed. I had
never been in a relationship before so anything and everything was
new to me.
Between the phone calls
and the letters which surprisingly I got regularly once a week.
Letters telling me what he didn't on the phone which wasn't much.
Describing the locations they were in what he saw, sometimes they
were a letter full of rants about the idiots he worked with sometimes
or he talked about the fans he met. Then there were other letters
ones that were just to me, they were sweet, caring and loving. Some
of them I would have to sit down and read a couple times to make sure
I was reading what I was reading. Jon had such a poetic soul that it
bleed through to his letters. Now I could see why he wrote the songs
that he did.
One of the most wonderful
letters I received was after a phone call he and I had after a rough
shift at the coffee shop. Unfortunately Kari because she couldn't
find another job ended up getting hired back by Jake. Anna made her
apologize to me before it happened and though she did it I knew she
didn't mean it. I could tell by the look on her face and her eyes.
She did it cause she needed the job. She didn't know anything else.
So now I had to work with her on a daily basis. Jon had not been
happy when he found out but I had told him that I dealt with it and
she didn't say much to me. Not when Anna and Jake were always there
watching. It was the times that Anna was busy or she would corner me
outside after work. She would say the most hateful things, I was a
grown woman and she would still get under my skin. When she found out
that I was dating Jon the things she said were vicious and cruel. I
had gotten home and Jon had called I was in tears. I asked him more
than once why he wanted to date such an ugly looking thing like me. I
knew he tried to get through to me but I was just so hurt from what
she said that I couldn't and wouldn't listen. The letter I received
not even a day later was just so shocking and sweet I couldn't stop
reading it.
Shan,
my
sweet country flower, I know that you are feeling down right now and
I tried to tell you how I felt about you. I know you feel ugly but
what I see when I see you is beautiful, I wish you could see what I
see when I look at you. I wish I was a camera sometimes so I could
take your picture with my mind and put in a frame for you to see
just how beautiful you are to me... If you are ugly then I am the
ugliest thing on the planet...you have the most beautiful cornflower
blue eyes that see right through to man's soul... your smile lights
up the room like ray of sunshine through a rainy day, your hair is
like the finest spun gold, you are a natural beauty that does not
need anything to bring it out. Its just there. Your beauty is more
than just skin deep its in the inner beauty that shines from within.
Besides looks are not everything you could be the most gorgeous
person in the world but if your heart is ugly and cruel it mars that.
You my sweet rose are beautiful inside and out your inner light glows
bright and warms my soul when I think of you.... please do not let
that harridan mar that perfection I see when I talk to you or I see
you … she is jealous of what you are and what you will be... if you
need me you know I am a mere call away … please... call me …
yours
always
Jon
On the days I felt awful
as those days were quite a lot sometimes in the months that letter
made me feel like I could float on air. I had an issue that I didn't
tell Jon about. It was personal, something that only my mom and my
family knew about. Ever since I was a teenager I had horrendous
periods. I would become bed ridden and in pain unable to get up for
long periods of time. Those days those letters made all the
difference in the world. Unfortunately three months after Jon and the
concert I got hit with one of my worst periods in awhile. I was
thankful that the times Jon had called and the letters before it
hadn't hit. Now I was suffering for it. I was always irregular to
the point of going without one for months at a time. The doctor I had
saw as a teenager told me it was normal and gave me birth control
pills which made me sick to my stomach. So I had stopped taking them
a long time ago.
On the days I couldn't
get out of bed mom would come check on me, even my brother along with
Anna. I would sit and read those letters and write ones back to him.
It was like an old fashioned romance, like the romance like my mom
and dad had. She would tell me of the love letters my papa used to
write her while they were in school. He hadn't finished school but
enrolled in the army but still married his high school sweetheart. He
was discharged out of the army after being injured two years into his
term. He came home and married my mom. Still the story she told me
about their long letters reminded me somewhat of the ones Jon and I
were sending back and forth.
Another shock happened in
that time between I was working at the coffee shop just got done with
my shift when I heard my name called. I turned to see Mr Williams
walking over with both Eric and Jason. I was not sure what was
happening and I was very uncomfortable wishing someone else was
there. Make no mistake I wasn't afraid of Mr Williams but I wasn't
sure what was going on. “Yes sir..” I asked politely.
I watched as he shoved
both Eric and Jason over towards me his voice hard. “go on .. now
..” He looked pissed off but I didn't know if it was at me or at
the guys. I folded my arms across my chest and kept my distance.
Jason looked back at his father then at Eric. When he didn't say
anything Mr Williams growled at him. “I said go on...”
“Shanna... uh yeah I am
sorry for the accident .. at the dance and .. uhm... attacking you “
Jason stammered. He looked back at his dad. Mr Williams towered over
his son his arms crossed against his broad chest. “what we did in
school was wrong and hurting you just because it was fun...” He
smirked only to end up with a cuff against the side of his head from
his father. “sorry I mean I wasn't raised like that and what I did
was wrong both me and Eric are sorry for what we did … and we
aren't going to hang out with Kari anymore and I'll try to keep Tawny
from harassing you ...” He nudged Eric who looked put out that he
had to do this . Jason actually looked remorseful I didn't know
whether to believe him or not.
“yeah what he said..”
Eric said his arms across his chest he didn't look like he wanted to
be there at all. “can I go now..” He looked at Mr Williams who
didn't look pleased but there wasn't much he could say Eric wasn't
his son but he was his employee.
“yeah you can go but I
catch you harassing Ms Reed or attacking her again you can find
another damn job you hear me boy..” He glared at Eric who stomped
away. He turned back to me. “if you have anymore problems from
either of these boys you let me know .. and you tell Jon I took care
of it ya hear...” He gave me a warm smile. “he's a good boy that
Jon Francis … you bring him over to the shop next time he's in
town...” He escorted Jason away who looked back at me not sure what
to say.
I stood there in the
sidewalk in complete shock never contemplating what just happened.
Did Jason just apologize for him terrorizing me my whole life. Did he
say that he was going to keep his wife from attacking me verbally. I
headed back home I had to call Jon and tell him. He was not shocked
and told me that he knew that when Mr Williams said he would take
care of it he would. I just shook my head and laid down as I was
tired. We continued to talk through the night as he just got done
with the concert and he couldn't wait to see me again. I told him the
same.
Over the next couple
months not much changed. We talked daily on the phone I had once
protested against it knowing it must have cost him a lot of money on
the cellphone bill. He quickly counteracted it by telling me that
because we were on the same plan it didn't cost him anything to talk
to me. That it didn't matter if it did as talking to me made his day.
When he couldn't talk to me on the days he was just too tired from
the concert or I was just too tired from work we wrote letters long
full letters just about anything to everything. In those letters we
learned so much about each other I learned so much about the heart
ache he felt when his marriage broke up, he confessed to me that he
had thought he would be married with children at this time in his
life but that Dorothea hadn't wanted children and was working on her
own career. So they had partied ways. I felt bad for him to have a
shock hit him like that. He talked about his movies he did and what
he wanted in his life while I told him my own hopes and dreams.
I told him of my dream to
one day have my own photography studio and someday to be a mother.
That I dreamed of having a bunch of little ones to usher around and
hold and cuddle. I explained a lot of the things he wanted to know
about my family. I told him about the horrible tragedy that hit my
family six years ago when my sweet niece Kamilla died and the death
of my father. I told him everything and anything in the letters we
wrote back and forth. While we grew closer he still was on tour so we
couldn't really see each other face to face.
I knew he felt bad about
that but there wasn't much he could do about it. Yet it was the
little things during that time that he did that were so sweet. He
wrote letters but it was more than just that. Anna would tease me as
I could be working and Trevor our florist would walk in with flowers.
The one time Kari actually thought they were for her till he bypassed
her and handed me the bouquet of wild roses. I never said I didn't
like roses I just didn't like red ones. He had given me a smile and
said the caller said “wild roses for his wild country rose...” I
had blushed clear to my hairline. Jake had put them in the back for
me till I got home. A couple times it was a singing telegram which
had made me blush harder than the flowers had. He never sent me
anything too drastic and always called to make sure I liked it. The
only time he sent me something I didn't like was when he sent me
chocolates I am not a huge fan of candy. I told him thank you but
that I gave it to Kami who adored it. He had laughed and said he'd
put that in his note to remember no candy for Shan.
It was wonderful talking
to him on the phone and the gifts were sweet the letters were
something that held close to my heart. Still seeing him face to face
was impossible as the tour had him going all over the place. Dating a
rock star is not all its cracked up to be. I had my doubts sometimes
but just a phone call as if he knew what I was thinking and they
would melt away. We hit the fourth month mark and I knew I was going
to be spending my birthday alone again this year. Caleb had to work.
Anna was with Jake as they were taking a trip just the two of them so
they closed down the shop for a couple days to take Claudia to see
Anna's parents. Harold and Jessica didn't live in town anymore. So I
was spending the day by myself, I had talked to Jon the night before
he was tired as he was jet lagged from flying home from England. He
would probably sleep all day long. He didn't know it was my birthday
and it wasn't something big so I hadn't told him. It was early in our
relationship so things like birthday's and such weren't big on the
list of things to know. Yet I did know when his was but then so did
all of the world. But I was okay spending it on my own so that was
what my plans were little did I know that plans change quite a lot in
the world of Jon Bongiovi.
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Nothing like a little old fashioned romancing to melt a girls heart, especially when it is Jon Bon Jovi doing the romancing.
ReplyDeleteRelieved that they both agree it is too early in their relationship to be saying, I love you to each other.
Yeah I know that ... it was too early its why they both kind of back tracked ... too early ..
Delete